Is the real tragedy form a tonuge
or stillness when wrong is being done
Our greatest enemy,
our favorite friend
A time of...

In the silence of truth,
when one's light is kept from my reach.
Keeping still when lives are being torn apart,
not speaking out because it would break the silence.

No words only are good for the deceivers,
but when trapped in our own mess silence becomes
a comfort, a familiar friend, someone who allows me...
to remain the same.






For you keep me in your presence,
you love is in the very depth of my soul.
It seems that even my darkest times,
you never leave this wretched child.

There is no breath that I breathe,
there is no song that I could sing,
that can sum what you are to me.

Jesus how can this be,
that you love this sinner's heart.
Even though failures and lies,
you are still willing to die.

I lied to make me look innocent,
but instead rubbed filth in my heart.
I have stolen to gain much,
but instead never felt so lost.

I look at myself with tears,
I don't know this girl I see.
God take the lies that are deceiving these eyes.

Look at me and what do you see?
I bet you that you don't see me crying
or a broken heart that is sinking.

Will you make me a promise,
to never leave when I become too much?
I know at times its easier not to stay.

I pick comfort over risk,
pleasure over the real thing.
Its easier to choose temptation over you,
are you willing to stay?

My poetry is not perfect, but I kind of like it like that because its of the moment where its real. I have figured out that I like being able to express what I am going through and not try to hide from it. I have created a lot of pain in me and well, been confused where it all came from. Much to say it left me feeling helpless and angry that I couldn't not escape it. I guess I have been feeding off of a couple of thoughts in my head:

-That I feel pressured to make no mistakes in relationships and how I act.

-Overwhelmed by not being able to be a friend. I kind of wanted to give up on everything yesterday cause I didn't know how to be a friend anymore. I don't really know how to express it, but that if I am known then I would surely be rejected, I think this is my biggest fear. I didn't think I had anything to offer cause I could not say the right thing, also that I was the one that was always being taught/preached to and I didn't have anything to offer to anyone. When you feel like that then you see yourself as a burden and something people go to other people to complain about. I know this as a lie, but when you see other people do this, you being to think they will do it about you. Then I began to believe that if I stay away from people I would be ok and that everyone is better off, I still am feeling this not as strong as yesterday. But yet, I am scared of being alone. I would really like no replies, I have talked this out with some people and just needed to say it and be done with the feelings.Thanks.